How friendships work

Orange Book 

@orangebook_

Ultimately, in the long run, our decisions shape who we become, and we all attract the people we deserve, whether we like it or not. Friendships that work out in the long run: - both sides have their personal lives in order (healthy lifestyle, healthy relationship with family, clear personal goals, financially responsible, seeking to learn and improve who they are with humility.) - both sides genuinely wish the best for the other side, because they are already content with their current lives, and understand that happiness isn’t a zero-sum game. - both sides are genuinely curious about each other, and that makes every conversation thrilling, as they keep discovering new layers in each other’s mind. - both sides have the maturity to not be too quick to judge, they know life happens, that there are ups and downs, they offer help where they can and expect nothing in return. - both sides understand that people with whom you can build an instant, deep connection, are actually very rare, and they tend to be very loyal and committed once they have found someone worth keeping in their lives.

Friendships that don’t work out in the long run: - mental health issues from either side (anger issues, impulsive decisions, an inflated ego, inability to appreciate anything in life.) - lack of personal responsibility from either side (financially reckless, lack of self-awareness to maintain healthy habits, refusal to acknowledge that their actions have consequences, and that you attract who you are.) - not caring enough from either side (no one is going to chase you if you never have time for them.) - too much physical distance and no long-term common goal (at the end of the day, people write their best stories with those they live around.) - too much difference in terms of ambitions (driven people want to hang out with those they can grow together with, people who want an average life feel insecure around more driven people, and often end up coming up with random reasons to accuse the more successful person of “arrogance” or “obsessed with achievements,” etc.)